I just read another wonderful post by Lady Lydia at Home Living! It really speaks to me about keeping the home and how important it is whether you are a mother or just a wife. Please go read it here and tell me your thoughts! I, of course, do not think that staying at home is a waste of time. I agree completely with Lady Lydia's post. Unfortunately we do have to deal with people, women and men alike, who do not value our position at home. I know that my husband loves having me at home but unfortunately, due to our finances, he needs me to go back to work. I am not happy about this but in being submissive to my husband I need to oblige. He only wants me to go back to work until we have our first child (besides my 2 stepkids, of course, but they don't live with us) and then I can come home. He doesn't want anything to come in between me staying at home once we have children and feel that this will help prevent it. Unfortunately our finances are so bad that I need to get a full-time job. We have really been avoiding our finances for the past few months since I quit the lawfirm and it is time to be honest and work on paying our past due bills. We will continue to live our life the same with the low budget groceries and not going out and spending lots of money so hopefully we will be able to make our debt load more manageable. I do feel, that before I get a job outside of the home, I need to organize my life better around here so I am able to keep the house fairly the same as before. It's hard because I feel as though I am just getting the hang of things around the home and now I have to relearn how to prioritize my time. I was not very good at keeping the home when I was working full-time. I will have to rely on the Lord even more now for my strength and patience during this difficult time. I will keep all of you posted!
October 1, 2008
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I found your blog on "Frugal Hacks" and the name interested me as I am expecting my first child and working toward staying home when she arrives in December. After reading some of your posts, I felt compelled to share some of my experience with you. First of all, I am a Christian and strive to be a good wife and honor my husband. I have done several studies on the proverbs 31 woman and try to understand her more each day. I admire the desire you have to stay home and take care of your home. I am very excited about the possibility of staying home. I have worked outside the home for the entire 4 and 1/2 years we have been married. Even though I wanted to take care of our home, I felt it was better for me to share in the financial part of our journey while we did not have children. I struggled, like you, to keep up with the housework at the beginning. This is what I learned from my experience. It is okay to ask for help. Since I was helping bring in money, I felt it was only fair to ask my husband to help share in some of the responsibilities of the home. I was very afraid to even bring it up, but I found that he was very willing to help in the ways he felt he could. I let him do the things he was comfortable with and worked hard to praise him for what he did around the house. Another thing that worked for me was Flylady. I do not use her plan exactly, but do use the 15 minute rule. I set my timer for 15 minutes and do what I can. If I am still feeling good, I set it for 15 more minutes. I also had to learn that while I am working full time, I may not be able to do all the things that women who stay at home may be able to do. I have to pick and choose what I can handle and be content with that. This is the season of my life I am in, and there will be another season when I will be able to do the things I want to do and feel is my responsibility as a wife and mother. Another thing I will encourage you to do is not neglect your financial situation. I currently work in a bank, and I see so many young couples get in over their head financially. This puts such a strain on a marriage. I know this is a lengthy comment, but I felt compelled to hopefully give you a little encouragement on your current situation. I hope some of it made sense. Prayerfully consider what God has placed before you, and He will direct you in the way you need to go.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your comment! I like lengthy comments! They usually have more substance to them. I will definitely be getting a job in the coming weeks....assuming there is a job to get around here. It's something that my husband and I have discussed at length and we have decided it is for the best. Thanks for the advice and best of luck to you with staying home!
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