September 3, 2008

Struggling While Trusting in God

Me and Tim have been struggling financially for quite a time now. It started before we got married and has continued into our married life. It gets better and worse all the time. Right now we are in a very tight spot. Tim really wants to get a part-time job but there aren't many jobs hiring right now. A lot of the local stores he could work at close at 6pm so that doesn't help. He would really like me to continue staying at home. I have really gotten in the groove of things and he enjoys coming home to a peaceful and clean house and more importantly a happy, sane wife! He also figures that we will start trying to have kids soon so what's the point of me going back to work. I struggle with this. Not because I don't enjoy being at home full-time, because, believe me, I do. I love it! I really think that my job in life is to be a wife, mother and keeper of the home. I think that Tim's job is to be our provider. But it gets so hard when you are struggling and I know how tired he will be if he gets a second job.

This is where my faith in God and his plan comes into place. I have to trust in God and that if we are doing what is right and putting everything in his hands that it will work out someway, somehow. Being a fairly new Christian that is hard for me. I'm sure it is hard for the most veteran of Christians. How do you trust that God will take care of it? We are a society of taking control, especially as women, how do we let it all go? Most women can't even let their husband take control. Believe me, I was one of those women before marriage. My perspective and attitude has changed so much since becoming a married woman. I still struggle however, financially, emotionally and spiritually. I guess I have to learn patience, a little more self-control and a lot of faith!

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